my autoblography.

happy father's day.

2009-06-20T22:13:00.001-07:00

papa,
i know you won't be reading this. hell, i know for a fact you won't be reading this. but there's always a part in me thinking that someday you'll hear me out. i miss you. more then you even know it. but i have a lot of unsolved questions, like does it hurt you to know that you didn't get to watch your little princess grow up to a girl that you don't even recongize? where were you when i needed you the most. what were you thinking when you abondoned not only me, but the wife that was your "true love" and fell head over heels for and the kids you claim to love. i know you care, but your love isn't welcomed in my heart anymore. how can you love someone you don't even know. as much as i want to forgive you for your non-exsiting presence, i just can't. i can't let another stranger disappoint me or take advantage of my heart. you're the reason why i can't afford to love someone anymore. you're the reason why i have trust issues. you're the reason why i'm afraid of losing someone that i love. these home videos of you holding me when i was a baby, singing lullabys while cradling me isn't the father i have today. in fact, my daddy now is 100 times the better father you ever were. i hate being the only child in the family that resembles you. i resemble a traitor, a liar, a fake. i hate that when i fight with momma, she always says " quit acting like your papa". i have news for you, i'm never going to be like you. in fact, i promise that when i grow up - i'm going to be NOTHING like you.

so happy father's day papa, in my heart and mind - you get the award for being the shittest papa in the world.

love, your daughter,
- marissa mae simms.

motocross.

2009-06-20T21:46:00.001-07:00

" just because you're one of the very few girls who does the sport around here, you get alot of hell. and not only do we get hell, we also raise hell for beating many of the competitors out there who claim that motocross is a "mans" sport." - me, i was interviewed friday night after winning a race in my class. i was the only girl, out of 20 some guys.

growing up.

2009-06-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

by living each day to its absolute fullest you not only sleep better at night but you are one step closer to your dreams take chances. tell the truth. date someone totally wrong for you. say no. spend all your cash. fall in love. get to know someone random. be random. say i love you. sing out loud. laugh at a stupid joke. cry. get revenge. apologize. tell someone how much they mean to you. tell a jerk what you feel. let someone know what they're missing. stalk someone. blackmail. laugh til your stomach hurts. live life. there is not a shred of evidence to support the theory that life is meant to be serious.